Archive | humor

The Mother of All Magnets

We celebrate the Mother’s Day to show honor and respect to one of the most influential persons in our lives. We all have spent most formative years of our lives with our mothers and shared all joy and sorrows. Such is the greatness of our mom that she always tries to make us feel happy even in times of distress.

This occasion of Mother’s Day would become more enjoyable if we add some flavor of humor to it.

“The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.”- John Fiebig

“I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.”- Unknown

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Yes,” she replied. “But not the same ones.”- David Finkelstein

A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son’s memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.” The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world.” – Bits and Pieces, 1989

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I?” When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word Mother– Unknown

 Ecerpts from

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The Stages of Motherhood

4 Years Of Age – My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She’s way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom
A Day For

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You Know You Are Mother When

You count the number of sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they are equal.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your child throws up and you catch it.

Someone else’s kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read “Once upon a Potty” out loud in the lobby of the doctor’s office and you do it.

You hire a baby sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it’s the only one your child eats.

You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes–it’s so final.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “Not in your good clothes.”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

Any of these sound familiar?
Day For

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