On the Days You Don’t Feel Like Trying-What Do You Do?

Adulting

There are days I just want to throw in the towel.

To not write.

To not do Social Media.

To not be perky and happy.

Then there are days when I wonder what the heck I was/am thinking/doing. Am I doing the right things? Am I heading in the right direction? Wouldn’t it be easier to just.not.give.a.crap?

Typically these blue moment, or periods of self-doubt, happen at night. When I’m tired, overwhelmed and pissed off. At no one in particular either.

By the next morning, I’m back to bursting with confidence, energy and sureness of purpose. I’m 100% certain that I’m doing the right thing.

It’s not easy.

No one ever said success would be. But what I can offer you is some tips and thoughts for those times when your spirits are low and the Stinkin Thinkin is threatening to bring you to your knees.

1. Go to bed! Wouldn’t that be the obvious choice? It’s nighttime and my body/brain says DONE! But, I think the key is to, as Dr Dillon Remmick mentioned during Happy Healthy YOU, go to bed in the right frame of mind. Don’t lay your head on the pillow running the “Worry List” through your brain. Call it a night by first thinking of four things you are grateful for. That’s it. Hit the rack with the Gratitude Attitude. Thanks Dr Dillon.

2. This is a great quote from motivator Sandy K. Sometimes in the muck of stuck, I forget that I’ve gained some ground. Instead of thawackin myself in the head about what I didn’t do, I need to review what I have accomplished and celebrate my successes. No matter how small. I have a “Victory List” on the wall of my home office. This 11×17 sheet of paper lists all the things I done/seen, experienced/accomplished. Things that give me the warm fuzzies about ME.

3. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. The path I’ve chosen is a journey, not a destination. I’m a female. I want it all, and I want it in five minutes or less. Reality is, I’m also a farmer. Planting seeds and waiting for them to sprout and grow. And that takes time.

4. Take back control, a.k.a tell people to quit “shoulding” on me. Sometimes I feel stuck because I feel trapped. Surrounded by “shoulds” and “have tos.” Trust me, I am fully aware it would be easier to reach my goals on the well-traveled path. But everything I want to accomplish is more like hacking through the jungle. It’s exhausting. But I also wouldn’t do it any other way.

Here’s another spot-on quote from Sandy K; In this case, it helps me to remember that I have choices. I can quit if I want to. Or I can change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it or where I’m doing it or when or with whom. This is MY life. MY reality. And I create it, dammit.

5. Time moves forward. It helps me to remember the quote my Gramma always used about unpleasant things; “This too shall pass.” And it always does. I know one thing for certain: whatever crabbies or self doubts I’m feeling today? They won’t last.

6. Get a good support crew. As my bestie Shannon always says “run with the motors and leave the anchors behind!” Make your support system people who build you UP, not tear you down. It’s very hard to strive for your dreams when people around you are telling you how it can’t be done. Pick your Circle of Influence, and guard them like life depends on it.

It’s a Journey. Take a small step forward. Then repeat.

What do YOU do when worry and self-doubt is threatening to derail you?

About Becky Flansburg


Becky Flansburg is freelance writer, blogger and virtual assistant living in Northern Minnesota. A dedicated mom to two beautiful kids, her veteran blog Franticmommy.com is filled with laughter and love about the joys parenthood. Becky is also committed to helping women realize their work-from-home dreams, enjoy life beyond the cubicle and find clarity in the work/life/family balance. Connect with Becky via her website, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest

Comments

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7 Responses to On the Days You Don’t Feel Like Trying-What Do You Do?

  1. Amy P. October 20, 2010 at 12:58 pm #

    I hear you! I’m more of a sprinter than a marathoner myself.

    When I hit stretches like this, I try to take a break from media (primarily Internet, social media) and focus on the here and now. Sit on the floor and play with the kids. Go for a walk outside. Read a book. Have a glass of wine and just sit.

    Plus, sleep is golden. Everything looks better in the morning.

  2. TSinbrainerd October 20, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

    Becky, remember, most of the world wants to tear you down because misory loves company! HOWEVER you have seen, in real life, how one person can go from total lack of self (in all aspects) to being fully charged and taking on life because it is the life she has chosen. The journey is long, the trip ups.. yes they happen but it’s your support group, your FLOCK that comes to your side picks you up and takes the lead while you regain your strength. Leave the Dream Suckers to fend for themselves. Each step is a step in the right direction.

    FLOCK YOU MY FRIEND!

  3. Jeanne October 21, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    To add to your suite of lovely and encouraging thoughts, I’ll give you the gift of something my mom used to say when I was growing up: “If there’s something you have to do, and there’s no way to get out of it, do it graciously.” At the beginning of the last phrase, she’d always do this little Homecoming Queen wave. It cracked me up when I was a kid, but she was so right. If you soldier through the tough times with a little class and elegance, there’s a lot less cleanup work later.

  4. Mom Squad October 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm #

    These comments ROCK! Thanks everyone. Nice to know I am surrounded by positive, like-minded peeps 🙂

  5. Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom May 23, 2017 at 5:00 pm #

    I think what helps me is just knowing that everyone has days like this. Then I know I’m not alone. It’s also helpful to me to realize my feelings will pass. Maybe not in 5 minutes, but usually a half day, a whole day or in a couple days and things look better!

    #happynowlinkup

    • Becky Flansburg May 23, 2017 at 5:02 pm #

      Thanks for your thoughts, Katy. And thanks for stopping by!

  6. Johnna May 27, 2017 at 3:26 pm #

    These are great suggestions! I also struggle with days where I am exhausted, have a pit in my stomach, and just don’t want to push past my anxiety to get anything done. Since I’m a runner, your reminder that it’s a marathon and not a sprint encompasses all of these suggestions. Some run days are a blast. Others are a struggle. But I just have to remember to put one foot in front of the other!

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