The Real Moms Food Journey


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This week, I looked evil in the eye. It was cold. It was unbending

That evil is also-know-as The Cybex Elliptical Trainer.

I do believe that is the machine Shannon calls “The A$$ Master”.

For me, it was more like “Whup My A$$ Master.”

It had me at hello. I really wanted to tell it “goodbye” and after THREE AGONIZING MINUTES, I was panting like an old dog and contemplating a medic. Pretty mortifying. 

Damn. That thing is fierce.

It all started when I tripped into Snap Fitness, all happy-go-lucky, for my beloved Monday work-out with Amy of Sunlife Wellness. I felt good. I thought I had done well all week. I was anxious to get on the scale and review my progress….only there wasn’t any,… HUH! I gained two pounds???!!” (insert ego deflating noises here). What the??? Lies! Lies, I tell you!

Apparently if wasn’t just the Thanksgiving Turkey that got stuffed last week. *sigh*

“Did you exercise 4-5 times last week?”, asks Amy.


Valuable lesson learned.

But this brings me to a specific point. In order to lose weight, especially as much as I have, excuse making and dickin-around is NOT a good thing. I need to kick it up a notch. No more casual strolling on the treadmill. I need sweat, pant, and burn some dang calories.

Like ASAP.

Amy had a great quote: “If you are serious about losing weight, you need to be prepared to be uncomfortable. You need to dig deep, and be committed. Do the work and do it all the way.”

Did I mention she’s an amazing trainer? If it wasn’t for her, I would have climbed off the A$$ Master after about 45 seconds, put on my coat, and  ran drove to Mickey’s for a sub. Not to gush, but she is totally worth every penny.

I loathe cardio. Cardio gives me gas. Cardio is a bee-atch. But cardio and I will become one, my grasshoppa, if I am to lose the Junk In My Trunk. The bat wings under my arms have gotta go too.

After I lumbered crawled heaved removed myself from the A$$ Master, Amy said this, “remember this feeling. The out-of shape-feeling. Because it will go away and it will give you a great benchmark for your future fitness.”

TRUE. In the bites donkey butt.

I never want to feel this out-of-shape AGAIN. Ever.

So off I go! Re-newed in determination. I WILL have something GOOD to report next week. Not that this week’s lesson wasn’t good, I just want to see smaller numbers on the scale, dammit. I think I need to throttle back on the Humus.

And it’s all up to ME. I will git ‘er done.

Give me comment luv (below). Don’t shy. Be nice though. Amy has also taught me a bit of kickboxing 😉 and I am not afraid to use it. Kinda…..

Keep fighting, my diet friends. We will complete this journey together, and be successful. Be mindful of what goes in your mouth, and MOVE. Sweat. Pant. Become “one” with cardio. She’s mean, but she’s necessary for weight-loss. Tell Fat To Fork-Off!

ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE: I found this. I thought it was cool. Check it out
Be one of the first 500 people to tell us how you make time for fitness and win a free calorie counter jump rope, courtesy of Kaiser Permanente Colorado and the Elevate Your Health Colorado program. Please provide your name, address, phone number and e-mail address, and click “submit” to complete your entry.

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About Becky Flansburg

Becky Flansburg is freelance writer, blogger and virtual assistant living in Northern Minnesota. A dedicated mom to two beautiful kids, her veteran blog is filled with laughter and love about the joys parenthood. Becky is also committed to helping women realize their work-from-home dreams, enjoy life beyond the cubicle and find clarity in the work/life/family balance. Connect with Becky via her website, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest



4 thoughts on “THE REAL MOMS FOOD JOURNEY: The Cybex Monster

  1. Darn… (insert the “other” word here). I lost 65 lbs due to a close friend, the elliptical machine. I gained some of it back after having my 5th child at 40 yrs old, but I am still far under my weight before I kissed the elliptical hello. Don’t worry. It gets better. I would love to hold your hand during this painful process. My body has regressed a bit and could use the motivation & competition.


  2. Every time I enter the gym I wish for a sudden gush of molten lava to wipe out all of those black beasts!!!! I think the reason I hate the A$$ master is because it’s a big old slap of FAT across my face as to how out of shape I am and more so, how hard my heart has to work to carry this other person I carry on my back (yes, back fat, butt in front, thunder thighs, chinzzzz, it’s all bad!!!)

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