The Real Mom’s Food Journey: Got Balls?

Hola Chicas! (I think I have been watching too much Dora The Explorer). Welcome to our  Wednesday feature called The Real Mom’s Food Journey! WOOT!
For those of you just tuning in…I have got a BIG problem. It’s called….MY BUTT. I have wwaayyyy too much Junk In My Trunk. An overabundance of Ghetto Boo-tay. So much in fact, it’s pissin me off, undermining my confidence, and making me pant like a wounded walrus every time I climb stairs.

 
It sucks. And I have no one to blame but ME.



BUT, never fear, The Smart People are HERE! Thank goodness I am blessed with Smart Friends. People who care about me and want to see me succeed. The next few weeks/months/years my goal it to lose 50 pounds. Lose the weight, get healthy, eat better, and improve my life. Did I mention I want to live to see my kids grow up too?

So there’s that too.

So the jist of this madness is that, every Monday our weight loss coach/6-foot Amazon Nutrition Guru Amy Kenow, leads myself and Shannon on some new adventure. These adventures all revolve around us getting healthy, making better food choices, and whipping our fat arses into shape. Good times, baby.

Apparently I live in a box because exercise-wise, there is soooo much I’ve never done! Last week was rockin fun. We met Miss Amy at Snap Fitness (very nice place) and started things off with what is now my newest, favortist, piece of exercise equipment; The Stability Ball. Love.love.LUV this thing! Talk about easy but effective exercise!

It’s also good for old farts like me that sit like the Hunchback of Notre Dame over a computer all day. Drape your back across this Stability Ball and within seconds your spine will go “Ahhhhhhhh.
I immediately rushed out to one of the Big Bloated Chain Stores and bought one (I would have rather bought locally-owned, but am unsure where to find a place that sells these). Now it is a nightly occurrence for me and my kids to fight over The Ball. And it’s not uncommon for me to work-out with a 40 pound kid draped across my knees. Kinda like a warm little Medicine Ball with fruit-snack-breath, that constantly chirps “my turn! my turn!”

Speaking of Medicine Ball, I tried those too. Very cool.  A great way to enhance any workout. Use them during cardio lunges, Step aerobics, or even on Mr. Stability Ball. Definitely another “Becky’s Pick” for exercise stuff.

Oh btw…yes, that IS a picture of me above. Yup, uh-uh. Amy whipped 100 pounds off me in one session and gave me big hooties. She is Magic Coach. Told ya she was good.

Speaking of hooties…this is one thing I tried and DID NOT like. The infamous Five Pound Hula Hoop. Don’t kid around with this thing people. Good Lord. I tried it (unsupervised) and I am pretty sure on the first swing-around I fractured both nips. Damn that hurt. Pass on the Hula From Hell.

So there ya have it! It was a fun session and I feel I am really coming around. I am a bit stiff today, but not nearly like I thought I’d be. I thought I’d have to yell for a tow rope going up and down steps today, but I actually feel pretty darn good. And the organic cherry topper on the soy ice cream was when Amy looked at my food diary and said, “Cool. That looks pretty good.”

Boo-yah!

That’s all for now folks. Feel free to comment and interject kind thoughts, mutterings of encouragement, and large sums of cash….OK, I made that last one up. Check out Amy’s website at http://www.sunlifewellness.com/ and feel free to consult with her at any time.

I leave you with these uber profound thoughts for Thanksgiving:
Keep it between the ditches, wear “stretchy pants” to your Holiday meals, and if you can’t wake up with a smile on your face, go to bed with a coat hanger in your mouth. Happy Turkey Day!

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About Becky Flansburg


Becky Flansburg is freelance writer, blogger and virtual assistant living in Northern Minnesota. A dedicated mom to two beautiful kids, her veteran blog Franticmommy.com is filled with laughter and love about the joys parenthood. Becky is also committed to helping women realize their work-from-home dreams, enjoy life beyond the cubicle and find clarity in the work/life/family balance. Connect with Becky via her website, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest

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3 Responses to The Real Mom’s Food Journey: Got Balls?

  1. shannon November 24, 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    KUDOS to us! I too visited my gym (it missed me) and got back on the ass master… I hate that giant piece of metal… I long for molten lava to take it from the earth! It’s been about a month since my gym membership expired – and you know when your gym membership expires apparently your body feels it unnecessary to exercise! That beast of metal kicked me good – panting like a bull mastiff on a 110 degree day! And it was only 6 minutes! However… (and this justification makes me feel better) I did work out with the free weights, stability ball and medicine ball (why do they call it that? is it because you require medicine for your aching muscles after spending time with the ball?). I also incorported some yoga stretches. Becky likes her bouncy ball and I love to twist my body into pretzel like contortions. The yoga class that I visited was fabulous! Plus I was one of the youngest there that was a bonus! Brought out the green kombucha tea – which I love love love and drinking water like a camel. Oh and for the readers of the blog – I saw the 5 lb hula hoop incident with Becky. TIP _ the hula hoop goes around your waist not your bust! I know she was hoping for some swelling of the girls… I think she did it on purpose!

  2. Mom Squad November 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm #

    RE: 5-Pound Hula Hoop Incident/Titty Crusher. Unfortunately, no swelling occurred…..which is a bummer. I am feeling a bit inadequate in the boobage department 😉 Maybe Santa will bring me some!

  3. amy November 25, 2010 at 5:19 am #

    ohh you too…this will be an interesting journey for sure…I have soo many more tricks up my sleeve to make you suffer and call me naughty names! JK, but i will push, educate, motivate, encourage…all for better health and weight loss will be a VERY nice bonus.

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